KALEIDOSCOPE
Andrew Price Carlile, 2022
EXT NIGHT,
The back door/stoop of a run-down movie theater called the “Kaleidoscope”, where trash reflects the yellow light from sodium lamps.
SALLY. You didn’t have to chase them off like that.
ANDY. You’re right, sorry. That wasn’t cool.
SALLY. It was a little cool.
ANDY. It was just supposed to be special for you and those two idiots just fucked it all up.
SALLY. Gus and Jan? They’re harmless. It would have been a lovely cake.
ANDY. I made sure the fake blood was raspberry flavor.
SALLY. I love raspberry blood!
ANDY. Yeah.
SALLY. Why are you being all nice to me?
ANDY. You deserve it. You deserve a big send off, something cool so that you remember something nice about this dump.
SALLY. It’s not that big a deal.
ANDY. It’s a huge deal. you’re a good artist. you’re like a movie genius! You’ve got a way with the camera that, like, nobody else has. You tell stories people need to see.
SALLY. You’re fucking with me.
ANDY. I’m dead serious.
SALLY. Don’t be, you goofball. Serious is not a good look good on you. Besides, I’m not even going to do it.
ANDY. What are you talking about?
SALLY. No really hear me out on this. I’ve thought about it. The grant does its first payout before I have to leave, so I can just not go, and still get the money, and it would be enough to fix up the Film Scene, and I could maybe stay.
ANDY. You can’t do that.
SALLY. It’s a grant, not a scholarship. the money’s mine, I checked.
ANDY. You’ve got to go.
SALLY. It’s a five-year program. what if I go and after year one it becomes obvious to everyone that I’m just a hack? I’d have to come back here anyway. this way we at least get to keep the money.
ANDY. You’re not a hack though. you’re honestly really good.
SALLY. You’re just saying that.
ANDY. But I mean it. and thrasher magazine obviously agrees, you scored teddy that sponsorship.
SALLY. That was mostly you guys.
ANDY. No come on, we were just doing like lenses. you set us up with the– with the–
SALLY. it was just shot on my dad’s dslr. It would have been amazing no matter what we used. It’s not like I really added any substance to it–
ANDY. But it wasn’t just the camera. That was you.
SALLY. It was teddy. I didn’t really know what I was doing, you just set up the lights and point and click. Really I’m still just a moody teenager with a camera. might as well be taking pictures of chuck taylors and stuff I had for brunch.
ANDY. Don’t talk that way about your art. I love your art.
SALLY. You’re all serious again.
ANDY. I just– I mean, you’re better than that. you deserve better than that. Better than all of this.
SALLY. So what if I am? and I go off to super fancy film school, and I go off to what? to the big city to make motion pictures? best case scenario I just become another rich fat asshole.
ANDY. But that’ll never happen though
SALLY. You’re right I’ll never be rich. just a mediocre fat asshole.
ANDY. Don’t be a dick. you know what I mean.
SALLY. No really! I’ll become one of those detached bastards chands full of rings and big cigars to wave in your face! Arr. Get me Spiderman. Tell Tom Hanks he’s fired, the bastard. You’ll never work in this town again! Exploiting people, fucking them over for sex and drugs and money.
ANDY. But that’s not you. you’d never do that.
SALLY. You don’t know that
ANDY. No but I know you. I– I know you’d never fuck somebody like that.
SALLY. I’d fuck you.
ANDY. What?
SALLY. If I take this money I’ll be fucking over you and gus and jan. and teddy. The film I used as my submission, it wasn’t mine. I used Teddy’s footage. what he wrote. It wasn’t mine. All I did was the lighting, and balance out the levels, and re cut it, but I could never make anything that good myself, and when i get there and they see that I’m a hack, they’ll know I plagiarized and throw me out, and I have to wind up back here, and —
ANDY. You got Teddy’s negatives. You went through his–
SALLY. Yeah. I know, okay? So I’m not gonna do it.
ANDY. Do Gus and Jan know?
SALLY. What? no.
ANDY. You are going to have to tell them.
SALLY. I should have just asked them up front. They worked so hard for this, It’s more theirs than mine. I should have asked teddy but
ANDY. Teddy’s gone.
SALLY. I can’t even tell him I’m sorry.
ANDY. Hey. hey. it’s okay
SALLY. no it’s not. What right do I have to profit off his memory like that? What right do I have to go off and pretend like I’m some sort of filmmaker, some Hollywood hack asshole! it’s not even my dream, it’s his, and I’m — I’m–
ANDY. That’s not Teddy’s dream. You know Teddy’s dream? it was to get high every single day and watch movies on the couch. Now he’s dead. what happens to your dreams when they’re dead. They’re gone. He’s gone. He doesn’t care. I do. Gus and Jan, everybody does too. That’s our dream. To see somebody, anybody leave this town and be somebody. You can do that. You have to. You have to carry our dream forward out of this town. So that, it’s like, we’re not nobody. we come from nowhere, but we’re not nobody. You can’t let us down like that.
SALLY. And what are you gonna do? What is your dream?
ANDY. I’m going to honor Teddy’s memory by getting high every day and playing your movies at the Kaleidoscope.
SALLY. People won’t come see them.
ANDY. Then I’ll play them just for me.
SALLY. You’re so full of shit.
ANDY. I’m not, I promise.
SALLY. You don’t really think all that.
ANDY. I do! I swear! How could you say that?
SALLY. You’re hiding something. Why are you being so nice to me? Even after what I did? How could you still even look at me?
ANDY. Because you’re amazing, and funny, and kind, you’re hotter than Lauren Bacall, not to mention a fucking genius and the next John Carpenter. I like how you look away a little when you’re really smiling. I love you. I don’t want to do anything else but see you shine.
SALLY punches him in the arm.
SALLY. Don’t treat me like a jerk. When you tell me something like that you have to mean it.
ANDY. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to distract you.
SALLY. Distract me?
ANDY. Yeah. I mean, look– you made a movie that’s cooler than everything I’ve ever done, combined. I believe in you. And back there– inside? Everyone back there believes in you, too. We know you won’t let us down. We all love you. You’ve got to go. You deserve it.
SALLY. Okay, I’ll go. Why don’t you come with me?
ANDY. I couldn’t.
SALLY. It could work.
ANDY. No. This is where I’m stuck. If you try to drag me around with you I’d only slow you down. It’s okay. Why don’t we go back in?
SALLY. Yeah.
ANDY. Want me to call Gus and Jan back?
SALLY. No.
ANDY. me neither.